This list is inspired by phi-is-me's list titled My slightly sassy (but legitimate) list of limits and requirements (Found here). Some of the points are hers that I've borrowed and some of them are my own.
I’m Not a Pantry: No food in the nether holes. There are plenty of other fun things you can stuff into me. Frequent UTI's make anything with food completely off limits. Keep the grocery aisle out of it. This includes ginger, jalepeño juice, paprika, and produce. Ice cubes are permitted, however.
Discomfort and Pain: If you want me to kneel, I get a pillow. Last thing I need is to come out of subspace ‘cause my effing knees hurt. That’s not happy pain. I have fibromyalgia. It's always gonna be here and there's not much that can be done about it. My pain threshold is lower than most, and this may cause me to safeword earlier, ask for special accommodations, or need more intense aftercare. Don't like it? Move the fuck on. My fibro is a part of me and if you can't accept that, I don't need you around. I will cover this more in another point.
Titles: Please don’t try to tell me what to call you. I will ask if there's something particular that I can call you, but unless you've really earned it or you hold a special place with me as my Dom, don't expect anything special. On that note, do not think to call me a title that you haven't earned. If you try, I will call you on it and it will not be pretty.
Humiliation/Degradation: Slut, whore, fucktoy, cocksucking wench... - these are okay ONCE I KNOW YOU; this goes with the above point - do not just walk up to me and call me a whore. However... Fat slut. Stupid whore. These are not. The former ‘cause of body image issues, the latter ‘cause you’re just wrong and that makes you look like an idiot. How do I respect an idiot?
Sex: If you are not romantically involved with me, intercourse (as in your penis in my vagina) ain't happening. I don't care if you say you'll use a condom, I don't care if you have papers saying you're clean. Not. Gonna. Happen. If you push this subject, you will be ignored and reported. Condoms are not always 100% and if Doctor Gregory House taught me anything, everyone lies. I don't give handjobs; I don't really like it so I reserve that for those romantically involved. Blowjobs are a rare occurrence. Because of my fibro, I have TMJ, which means having my mouth open for that long is incredibly painful for me. That doesn't mean I'll never do it, it just means it's not something I'm just going to give out like candy on Halloween.
Kissing: I'm taking a page from my favourite fictional hooker, Vivian Ward; kudos if you can tell me where she's from WITHOUT GOOGLE. No kissing on the mouth. Kiss my forehead, my cheek, my neck, my shoulders. No kissing on the mouth though.
Nobody’s Perfect: I'm human, you're human, we're all human here. We all fuck up once in a while. If I do fuck up and deserve punishment - pick up the pieces when you’re done. Make sure I know I’m forgiven. It’s gonna take you a while to get through to me. I need to know that even know I fucked up, I can and will be forgiven for my transgressions.
Aftercare: I expect a message here on Fetlife the day after we play, and if you don't contact me, I will contact you. If I get to be reminded of you every time I sit down or look at myself in the mirror, then I want to know you're thinking of me too. If you can't make that kind of commitment, don't mark me.
Appreciation: I’m going to appreciate the hell out of you. Please remember to appreciate me. I'm not asking for some big, grand gesture. But some form of appreciation A) Makes me feel like I'm wanted B) Makes me know that I'm not just being used and C) Makes me feel good. And everyone wants to feel good.
Honesty: No joke here. Do not lie to me. Do not say nice things to me you don’t mean. I am a ridiculously trusting person; do not take advantage of me or of that facet of my personality. If you do, know that the consequences will be dire. I will believe every word you say until you’ve lied to me once. And then I will struggle to believe ANYTHING you ever said was true. It's just easier to tell me the truth. You don't want to play again? Okay, just let me know. You're not into playing with bigger girls? That's fine! Everyone has their preferences. As Genie said in Aladdin, TELL THE TRUUUUUTH!
Be Yourself: Please don't try and change yourself to be someone that you're not just to get close to me/play with me/court me/etc. It took me a very long time to find 'ME' and after I did that, I had a greater appreciation for people that did act fake and liked they liked something just because someone else did. Now if there's something that I like (kinky or not) that you don't or that you're neutral and you WANT to investigate it and see if you like it, I'm more than happy to help with that! I love when my friends start to get into something that I am, because it just adds something that we can talk about. Never watched Doctor Who but want to? Invite me over for the weekend and we'll marathon it! Don't like sushi, but you want to know why everyone else does? Let's head to a sushi bar and we'll get our nom on! Just be true to you. No one likes a poseur.
Be Understanding: Now, I covered it a bit in the point titled Discomfort and Pain, but I'll go into it a little more here. I have a chronic autoimmune disease. There is currently no cure for it. We can only manage it with medication, holistic healing, and changing our lifestyle. Someone with fibromyalgia has a life filled with maybe's; one of the few consistencies of fibromyalgia is the inconsistency. We never know how we're going to feel day to day and this can make planning difficult or impossible. Maybe I can cook today. Maybe I can drive. Maybe I can take a shower. Maybe I can get out of bed. Maybe I can make that coffee date. Maybe I can come to that party. Maybe I can play. My life in one word is MAYBE. And you'll need to be understanding of this. If I planned to come over and play and cancel the day of because I'm flaring up, I'm sorry. I'm terribly sorry and it does upset me as well, because I was looking forward to it. Or sometimes I can still come over, but we'll have to settle for watching a movie instead. Please don't blame me for this; I shoulder enough guilt on my own. I don't need and won't tolerate it from you.
Attachment: There is a difference between a spouse/partner/mate and a -play- partner. There is actual a very distinct line between the two. Do not blur these two things. If you are just a play partner, that's all you are to me. You're not my boyfriend or girlfriend. We can be friends, but we're not romantic. If I express interest in becoming romantically involved, that's another story. But don't assume that just because I let you feel me up, flog me, get me off, etc. that I'm your girlfriend. I appreciate the flattery, but please respect my boundaries. The same goes for Domming; if I let you top me in a scene, that's one thing. But you're not my new Dom. It takes a hell of a lot more than one scene to earn my submission. Having this school of thought will make me send your ass packing faster than you can blink and I'll make sure that other's hear about it.
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Updates for my Lovelies!
Oh. My. Gods. I went to my first play party Saturday night. And it was amazing. I was super shy and introverted for the first half and I just nibbled on food and watched all the scenes everyone else was putting on. And then the hosts kinda gently pushed me into trying something, which was fire play.
IT WAS AMAZINGLY OMGWTF AWESOME! I think I may have found a new favorite fetish. If you're into the Scene and you've never tried it, I strongly urge you to. After that, I did another scene with the same person with sensory play; I had suspected that this would be my favorite and I was correct. After we finished that one and I came way the fuck down, we played with nipple clamps and floggers. I discovered that there is a way I can enjoy the latter even with my fibro.
However, my breasts and chest are hella bruised now, as seen below.
IT WAS AMAZINGLY OMGWTF AWESOME! I think I may have found a new favorite fetish. If you're into the Scene and you've never tried it, I strongly urge you to. After that, I did another scene with the same person with sensory play; I had suspected that this would be my favorite and I was correct. After we finished that one and I came way the fuck down, we played with nipple clamps and floggers. I discovered that there is a way I can enjoy the latter even with my fibro.
However, my breasts and chest are hella bruised now, as seen below.
I had such a great time. I am so damn glad I went.
I then went to our communities weekend munch Sunday night. I made a few new friends. There was a couple sitting across from me and the guy was like "Honey, she was at the party last night." And she looked at him and was like "Nuh uh! I would have remembered her!" And he said "Well... You might not remember her face since her head was thrown back in lust, but I promise you you remember -hearing- her." And her eyes got all wide and said, "OH! THAT WAS YOU!?! Oh my god, you were the one in the corner with the black and pink lingerie that was super loud?!"
I blushed about 10 shades of red. And then had another person come over after hearing that I had some awesome bruises. And I bought myself a nice necklace with my tax money. It's a golden pearl with wings on either side. It's a snitch from Harry Potter. So the female from the couple beside me pointed it out and said what it was, so she and I bonded quickly. And the girl beside me was all geeky and a roleplayer, so she and I bonded really well.
I really feel like I'm coming out my shell.
I then went to our communities weekend munch Sunday night. I made a few new friends. There was a couple sitting across from me and the guy was like "Honey, she was at the party last night." And she looked at him and was like "Nuh uh! I would have remembered her!" And he said "Well... You might not remember her face since her head was thrown back in lust, but I promise you you remember -hearing- her." And her eyes got all wide and said, "OH! THAT WAS YOU!?! Oh my god, you were the one in the corner with the black and pink lingerie that was super loud?!"
I blushed about 10 shades of red. And then had another person come over after hearing that I had some awesome bruises. And I bought myself a nice necklace with my tax money. It's a golden pearl with wings on either side. It's a snitch from Harry Potter. So the female from the couple beside me pointed it out and said what it was, so she and I bonded quickly. And the girl beside me was all geeky and a roleplayer, so she and I bonded really well.
I really feel like I'm coming out my shell.
Monday, July 29, 2013
A Short Session
Master and I haven't been able to play recently. Between our work schedules and both of us doing overtime at various times (well, me all the time at least), my move last weekend and the wonkiness of our Sunday date last week, and other general things that have kept us, play has been a non-factor with us.
However we actually had nearly a full day yesterday (twelve hours or so) to spend with each other and while play was not on the agenda, it was quickly pencilled in. We spent a couple hours browsing various sites with toys and devices for play, which of course got us both thinking about various things.
Sometime after midnight when I was already tucked into bed, I asked him if he wanted to play since my roommate was shut away in his room for the night. He said no and we kept on our conversation. However, I was particularly motivated to get off as my session that morning, while I did get off, didn't last nearly as long as I wanted it to. So I was just going to take care of the issue myself while we talked.
And then I made the mistake of muttering about needing batteries.
Master was not happy. Not that I ran out of batteries, no. That I didn't ask for permission to play with myself. So he scolded me and told me that I wasn't allowed to cum until we played tonight. I whined and pouted but he wouldn't budge.
So while I was laying there talking to him and reading, my hand found its way under my tank top and started to play with my nipples, tracing circles, tweaking them, rolling between my fingers. This did nothing for my sexual frustrations. Master could hear me and asked me if I wanted to play even though I couldn't cum. I enthusiastically told him yes; some was better than none.
He had me strip out of my clothes and put my collar on. He then told me to roll over onto my stomach and lift my ass in the air with my legs spread wide and my face buried in the pillows; Master knows this is my favourite position to be taken in. He told me to finger myself and I did and I could already feel that I was wet and I had barely even done anything. He told me to stop and get my glass toy (that's my favourite as well) and begin fucking myself with it. And I did. I fucked myself as hard as I could, pretending that it was Master behind me, impaling me with his shaft.
And then he commanded that I stop immediately and I let the dildo slip out and whimpered. He let my excitement subside before telling me to rub the end of the dildo on my clit. I knew that this was bad, but if he made me do it for too long, I would cum, and then I would really be punished. Thankfully he told me to stop and lay onto my back with my legs spread wide and the toy buried deep within my cunt. "How are you feeling, Aurora?" He asked me. I shivered as he said my name and whimpered at the feel of the toy inside me. "Good, Master. I feel very good." "Do you want to keep going, even though you can't cum?" "Yes, Master, please let me keep going." He granted permission and I continued to fuck myself, not as hard as before, but still with much vigor. He instructed me to rub my clit as well and I knew that the combined feelings would push me right over the edge if I wasn't careful.
"Stop!" He suddenly said and I pulled my hands away quickly, resting them on my stomach. "How are you feeling now, Aurora?" I whimpered because I didn't want to say. "I... I'm feeling very good, Master. But I want to cum." I knew that he knew that I wanted to cum and that I wasn't allowed. He said nothing for the span of several minutes, leaving me suspended there.
"You may cum, Aurora." I wasted no time getting back to what I was doing, slamming the dildo into me and rubbing my clit. "Thank you, Master, thank you." I breathed out, furiously trying to reach my orgasm. I could feel it building up, knew it was almost there. And then, it slammed into me. "Master, I'm cumming." I managed to whisper out. "Cum for me, my Aurora." He purred as I rode the wave of pleasure, trying to not shriek with delight. When I finally came down and had caught my breath, he, as always, instructed me to lick my toy clean, remove my collar and place it around my wrists, and go to sleep.
We ended the night with a few simple words - "I love you, my Aurora. Always remember that you belong to me." "And I love you, Master, and I will always be yours."
However we actually had nearly a full day yesterday (twelve hours or so) to spend with each other and while play was not on the agenda, it was quickly pencilled in. We spent a couple hours browsing various sites with toys and devices for play, which of course got us both thinking about various things.
Sometime after midnight when I was already tucked into bed, I asked him if he wanted to play since my roommate was shut away in his room for the night. He said no and we kept on our conversation. However, I was particularly motivated to get off as my session that morning, while I did get off, didn't last nearly as long as I wanted it to. So I was just going to take care of the issue myself while we talked.
And then I made the mistake of muttering about needing batteries.
Master was not happy. Not that I ran out of batteries, no. That I didn't ask for permission to play with myself. So he scolded me and told me that I wasn't allowed to cum until we played tonight. I whined and pouted but he wouldn't budge.
So while I was laying there talking to him and reading, my hand found its way under my tank top and started to play with my nipples, tracing circles, tweaking them, rolling between my fingers. This did nothing for my sexual frustrations. Master could hear me and asked me if I wanted to play even though I couldn't cum. I enthusiastically told him yes; some was better than none.
He had me strip out of my clothes and put my collar on. He then told me to roll over onto my stomach and lift my ass in the air with my legs spread wide and my face buried in the pillows; Master knows this is my favourite position to be taken in. He told me to finger myself and I did and I could already feel that I was wet and I had barely even done anything. He told me to stop and get my glass toy (that's my favourite as well) and begin fucking myself with it. And I did. I fucked myself as hard as I could, pretending that it was Master behind me, impaling me with his shaft.
And then he commanded that I stop immediately and I let the dildo slip out and whimpered. He let my excitement subside before telling me to rub the end of the dildo on my clit. I knew that this was bad, but if he made me do it for too long, I would cum, and then I would really be punished. Thankfully he told me to stop and lay onto my back with my legs spread wide and the toy buried deep within my cunt. "How are you feeling, Aurora?" He asked me. I shivered as he said my name and whimpered at the feel of the toy inside me. "Good, Master. I feel very good." "Do you want to keep going, even though you can't cum?" "Yes, Master, please let me keep going." He granted permission and I continued to fuck myself, not as hard as before, but still with much vigor. He instructed me to rub my clit as well and I knew that the combined feelings would push me right over the edge if I wasn't careful.
"Stop!" He suddenly said and I pulled my hands away quickly, resting them on my stomach. "How are you feeling now, Aurora?" I whimpered because I didn't want to say. "I... I'm feeling very good, Master. But I want to cum." I knew that he knew that I wanted to cum and that I wasn't allowed. He said nothing for the span of several minutes, leaving me suspended there.
"You may cum, Aurora." I wasted no time getting back to what I was doing, slamming the dildo into me and rubbing my clit. "Thank you, Master, thank you." I breathed out, furiously trying to reach my orgasm. I could feel it building up, knew it was almost there. And then, it slammed into me. "Master, I'm cumming." I managed to whisper out. "Cum for me, my Aurora." He purred as I rode the wave of pleasure, trying to not shriek with delight. When I finally came down and had caught my breath, he, as always, instructed me to lick my toy clean, remove my collar and place it around my wrists, and go to sleep.
We ended the night with a few simple words - "I love you, my Aurora. Always remember that you belong to me." "And I love you, Master, and I will always be yours."
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Communication
I ran across this very insightful Fetlife post on a "What my Dom should expect of me" yesterday and I feel like I took a lot away from it. I am unaware of the original author of this, but if you know, please tell me so I can give proper credit for it.
Communicate
I want to know everything. More than you think, by far.
No, it's not whining. It's not private. Yes, it most certainly is my business, and you're damn well going to tell me. This isn't up for debate, it's how it is, and you'd better get used to it.
Trust is amazing, surrender is beautiful, but communication is just as paramount if this thing is going to work. I have to know everything. Not just who you are, which food you prefer and what your favorite band is. That's nice and all, but I need to know what drives you. What you fear, what you crave, what you can and can't handle. I need to know the you that no one else gets to see, and I need to see it not just once, but in every moment, as it changes. Yes, you're right, that sounds like a lot of work. Suck it up, cupcake, no one said this was going to be easy.
I'm not just talking about talking, either. I'm talking about what is almost certainly an entirely new set of skills. The ability to be truly, completely transparent and open, even when you're afraid you'll come off as selfish, rude, or otherwise. When I ask your opinion, I want the truth. Yes, I realize that you're trying to be all cute and submissive by telling me you don't care where we get dinner when I ask if you have a preference. Here's the rub; if I didn't want your opinion, I wouldn't have asked for it. I would have happily selected, and it never would have been a discussion. The very fact that I am asking you means I want the information that you can provide, that I don't already have by sheer observation.
All right, dinner's a ridiculous example, because at the end of the day Thai vs. Italian on some random ass Tuesday night is not what's going to make or break things. You know what will, though? You holding back while I'm pushing you. Not only is it not allowed, and that in and of itself will earn you some much deserved repercussions, but it's also downright dangerous. Holding back information when talking about the evening's culinary events won't send someone to the hospital, or jail, but doing so while my belt's around your throat most certainly could
Like I said, this isn't just about talking. You may not be in a place to spill your guts while enduring whatever mind-fuck I've dreamed up, or whichever whim is currently taking precedence at the moment, but you will learn to be honest, and open. You will cry when it hurts, you will tell me when something doesn't feel right, you will beg mercy when you can't take any more, you will ask if something should feel like x, or if you may change positions if your leg went to sleep or, whatever the case may be. No, that is not topping from the bottom, or being less than submissive, or questioning my authority. If you truly think I am weak and insecure enough to feel threatened by you telling me that something hurts, or that you can't feel your toes, we've got some serious talking to do, or some serious "get the fuck out"ing, one or the other.
Look, here's how this works - You give me every last shred of information you can muster, and I make decisions based on that. This concept is not difficult, but some seem to have a massive problem with it. To me, one of the many things you are is a data collection point. I'm sick and tired of submissives that seem to be under the impression that their input doesn't matter. That they are somehow being disobedient if they ever speak up and voice anything, god forbid an utterance of dissent. What you're feeling and thinking; whether that's physical situations, emotional impacts and swells, or damn near anything else, absolutely matter. They may not always change the course of things, or my decisions, but they matter.
Why do they matter? I want the information. I want to know that your feet went to sleep from kneeling like that for so long, or that you feel nauseous from being hung upside down or...you get the idea. I want to know because while I am pretty damn perceptive, I am not omniscient, and if you ignore those things and a problem arises because of them, not only does it ruin whatever we're currently engaged in, but it means someone made a mistake. It also means that someone is going to be in serious trouble for that mistake, and get their ass in a sling for it. Here's a hint: That someone? It's not me.
If I'm pushing you in any way you can be damn sure I'm as in touch and paying as close attention as I possibly can. That being said, I can't see when your circulation goes wonky, your panic begins to set in, or some massive emotional trauma starts bubbling up from who knows where. It is not a bad thing to communicate, to feed me as much information as you possibly can. It is a bad thing not to. Trust me, "Ow that hurts!" is not a safe word. Telling me I'm a fucking asshole will not hurt my feelings, and tears won't slow me down. You pouring out emotion, frustration, fear or anything else will not stop me in my tracks. It will only help me better guide us on the course I have in mind, fine tuning things where necessary to achieve the result I want, taking the new information into account. This is not to say I'm not watching, and if you didn't see the issue coming either then you're not exactly accountable, are you? But if you knowingly hold back for any reason, there's a problem.
Just as much as communicating when something is too much, communicating what you want, need and crave is important too. You aren't a pretty little princess. You aren't going to get everything you ask for, or want. You sure as shit aren't going to run the show. You don't have to worry about expressing desire because you are afraid you'll sound demanding, or you'll walk all over me. You won't. What you will do, however, is let me deeper into your psyche, into understanding what makes you tick. You'll let me into knowing how to reward you, or strike fear in your heart. Into how to use both the carrot and the stick, and that's a valuable thing.
It is not your job to filter. It's not acceptable to me for you to remove my choice in matters. If you don't tell me that plugs hurts like a son of a bitch already, and it's only 30 seconds into wearing it, you are removing my choice to alter the situation, and thereby arrive at a different and likely more desirable outcome than you screaming out eventually and me having to rip the damn thing out of you and stop what we're doing to make sure you're okay. Stop your damn martyring, it's not honorable, submissive or dutiful. It's selfish, even if you don't see it yet.
How in the hell am I supposed to drive if I don't have all the information? I can't make informed decisions if you're holding back, you can't let go completely and trust me if you haven't told me all there is to tell, and I can't act without doubt if I don't trust you to be absolutely honest to a fault, whether that is with your words, your reactions, or even your body's response. Communication is more important than most ever seem to understand, and in my world it is non optional.
I want it all, and I won't stop until I have it.
Communicate
I want to know everything. More than you think, by far.
No, it's not whining. It's not private. Yes, it most certainly is my business, and you're damn well going to tell me. This isn't up for debate, it's how it is, and you'd better get used to it.
Trust is amazing, surrender is beautiful, but communication is just as paramount if this thing is going to work. I have to know everything. Not just who you are, which food you prefer and what your favorite band is. That's nice and all, but I need to know what drives you. What you fear, what you crave, what you can and can't handle. I need to know the you that no one else gets to see, and I need to see it not just once, but in every moment, as it changes. Yes, you're right, that sounds like a lot of work. Suck it up, cupcake, no one said this was going to be easy.
I'm not just talking about talking, either. I'm talking about what is almost certainly an entirely new set of skills. The ability to be truly, completely transparent and open, even when you're afraid you'll come off as selfish, rude, or otherwise. When I ask your opinion, I want the truth. Yes, I realize that you're trying to be all cute and submissive by telling me you don't care where we get dinner when I ask if you have a preference. Here's the rub; if I didn't want your opinion, I wouldn't have asked for it. I would have happily selected, and it never would have been a discussion. The very fact that I am asking you means I want the information that you can provide, that I don't already have by sheer observation.
All right, dinner's a ridiculous example, because at the end of the day Thai vs. Italian on some random ass Tuesday night is not what's going to make or break things. You know what will, though? You holding back while I'm pushing you. Not only is it not allowed, and that in and of itself will earn you some much deserved repercussions, but it's also downright dangerous. Holding back information when talking about the evening's culinary events won't send someone to the hospital, or jail, but doing so while my belt's around your throat most certainly could
Like I said, this isn't just about talking. You may not be in a place to spill your guts while enduring whatever mind-fuck I've dreamed up, or whichever whim is currently taking precedence at the moment, but you will learn to be honest, and open. You will cry when it hurts, you will tell me when something doesn't feel right, you will beg mercy when you can't take any more, you will ask if something should feel like x, or if you may change positions if your leg went to sleep or, whatever the case may be. No, that is not topping from the bottom, or being less than submissive, or questioning my authority. If you truly think I am weak and insecure enough to feel threatened by you telling me that something hurts, or that you can't feel your toes, we've got some serious talking to do, or some serious "get the fuck out"ing, one or the other.
Look, here's how this works - You give me every last shred of information you can muster, and I make decisions based on that. This concept is not difficult, but some seem to have a massive problem with it. To me, one of the many things you are is a data collection point. I'm sick and tired of submissives that seem to be under the impression that their input doesn't matter. That they are somehow being disobedient if they ever speak up and voice anything, god forbid an utterance of dissent. What you're feeling and thinking; whether that's physical situations, emotional impacts and swells, or damn near anything else, absolutely matter. They may not always change the course of things, or my decisions, but they matter.
Why do they matter? I want the information. I want to know that your feet went to sleep from kneeling like that for so long, or that you feel nauseous from being hung upside down or...you get the idea. I want to know because while I am pretty damn perceptive, I am not omniscient, and if you ignore those things and a problem arises because of them, not only does it ruin whatever we're currently engaged in, but it means someone made a mistake. It also means that someone is going to be in serious trouble for that mistake, and get their ass in a sling for it. Here's a hint: That someone? It's not me.
If I'm pushing you in any way you can be damn sure I'm as in touch and paying as close attention as I possibly can. That being said, I can't see when your circulation goes wonky, your panic begins to set in, or some massive emotional trauma starts bubbling up from who knows where. It is not a bad thing to communicate, to feed me as much information as you possibly can. It is a bad thing not to. Trust me, "Ow that hurts!" is not a safe word. Telling me I'm a fucking asshole will not hurt my feelings, and tears won't slow me down. You pouring out emotion, frustration, fear or anything else will not stop me in my tracks. It will only help me better guide us on the course I have in mind, fine tuning things where necessary to achieve the result I want, taking the new information into account. This is not to say I'm not watching, and if you didn't see the issue coming either then you're not exactly accountable, are you? But if you knowingly hold back for any reason, there's a problem.
Just as much as communicating when something is too much, communicating what you want, need and crave is important too. You aren't a pretty little princess. You aren't going to get everything you ask for, or want. You sure as shit aren't going to run the show. You don't have to worry about expressing desire because you are afraid you'll sound demanding, or you'll walk all over me. You won't. What you will do, however, is let me deeper into your psyche, into understanding what makes you tick. You'll let me into knowing how to reward you, or strike fear in your heart. Into how to use both the carrot and the stick, and that's a valuable thing.
It is not your job to filter. It's not acceptable to me for you to remove my choice in matters. If you don't tell me that plugs hurts like a son of a bitch already, and it's only 30 seconds into wearing it, you are removing my choice to alter the situation, and thereby arrive at a different and likely more desirable outcome than you screaming out eventually and me having to rip the damn thing out of you and stop what we're doing to make sure you're okay. Stop your damn martyring, it's not honorable, submissive or dutiful. It's selfish, even if you don't see it yet.
How in the hell am I supposed to drive if I don't have all the information? I can't make informed decisions if you're holding back, you can't let go completely and trust me if you haven't told me all there is to tell, and I can't act without doubt if I don't trust you to be absolutely honest to a fault, whether that is with your words, your reactions, or even your body's response. Communication is more important than most ever seem to understand, and in my world it is non optional.
I want it all, and I won't stop until I have it.
Friday, July 19, 2013
The Kink List
So many of you may be wondering, "Hrm, what exactly is she into?" Well wonder no further, dearest readers! I have been given a list by a fellow sub (and when he saw my results, he called me tame ._.). There is a great deal that I haven't tried but would be willing to try. I think an interesting idea would be to fill this list out again in a year and see how far I've come.
1 = Highly arroused by this activity, or the thought of it.
2 = Arroused by this activity, or thought of it.
3 = Somewhat Neutral to this activity, or the thought of it.
4 = Turned off to this activity, or thought of it.
5 = Highly Turned off to this activity, or thought of it.
6 = Hard Limit; Currently will not try this activity
BONDAGE:
Blindfolds EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Bondage (light) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Bondage (heavy) EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Bondage (public) EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Japanese Rope Bondage (Shibari) EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Collars (collaring) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Collars (being collared) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Leashes (private) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Leashes (public) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Chains EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Ropes EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Cuffs EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Gags EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Full head hoods EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Mummification/saran wrapping EXP [ x ] PREF [ 3 ]
Straight jackets EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Spreader bars EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
CONFINEMENT/SUSPENSION:
Cages EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Cells/Closets EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Stocks EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Suspension EXP [ x ] PREF [ 3 ]
IMPACT/PERCUSSION:
Spanking EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Flogging EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Single-tail whips EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Canes EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Belts EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Leather straps EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Riding crops EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Hairbrushes EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Wooden paddles EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Breast slapping EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Breast whipping EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Pussy/cock whipping EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Punching EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Strapping (full body beating) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Hair pulling EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Face slapping EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
SEXUAL ACTIVITY:
Vaginal sex EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Oral sex Female(giving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Oral sex Male(giving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Oral sex (receiving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Oral after Anal EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Throat Penetration EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Swallowing semen EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Facials EXP [ x ] PREF [ 3 ]
Bukkake EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Snowballing EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Creampie Licking EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Hand jobs (giving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Fingering (giving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Fingering (receiving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Anal sex (giving) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Anal sex (receiving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 4 ]
Anal plugs (small) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Anal plugs (large) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Anal plug (public) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Anal beads EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Anal Gaping EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Vaginal dildo EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Vibrator on genitals EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Masturbation EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Tribadism EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Fisting (vaginal/giving) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Fisting (vaginal/receiving) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Fisting (anal/giving) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Fisting (anal/receiving) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Speculums (vaginal) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Speculums (anal) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Rimming (giving) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Rimming (receiving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 5 ]
Double penetration (oral and vaginal) EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Double penetration (oral and anal) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Double penetration (vaginal and anal) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Triple penetration EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Forced masturbation EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Titty Fucking (giving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 3 ]
Titty Fucking (receiving) EXP [ ] PREF [ ]
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Strap-on-dildos (wearing) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Group Sex EXP [ x ] PREF [ 5 ]
Outdoor sex EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Orgasm control EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Sexual deprivation (short term) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Sexual deprivation (long term) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Swapping (with one other couple) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Swinging (multiple couples) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Threesomes (two male, one female) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Threesomes (one male, two females) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Beastiality EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
SENSATION PLAY:
Scratching EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Being bitten EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Tickling EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Kissing EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Zapping EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Ice cubes EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Wax Play EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Clothespins EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Sensory deprivation EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Hot oils (on genitals) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Breath Play EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
HUMILIATION:
Teasing EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Humiliation (private) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Humiliation (public) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Verbal humiliation EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Being spit on EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Washing mouth out with soap EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Objectification (art, furniture...) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Shaving (body hair) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Shaving (head hair) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Slutty clothing (private) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Slutty clothing (public) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Outdoor scenes EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Public exposure EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
BODY-PART TORTURE:
Breast/Nipple Torture EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Nipple clips EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Nipple weights EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Nipple suction cups EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Clit clips EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Branding EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Cutting EXP [ x ] PREF [ 4 ]
Catheterization EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Choking EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Smothering EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Disfigurement EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Snuff EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
FETISHES:
Feet EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Boots EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
High heels EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Chastity devices EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Corsets EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Masks EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Crossdressing EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Breast / Nipple Worship EXP [ ] PREF [ ] ?
Genital / Nipple Piercings EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Fingers in Mouth EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Hermaphrodite / Shemales EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Gender-bending EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Gas masks EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Feathers EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Lingerie EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Nylon EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Silks EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Leather clothing EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Rubber/latex/PVC clothing EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Panties EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Pantyhose EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Uniforms EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Pregnancy EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Lactation EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Food EXP [ x ] PREF [ 3 ]
Diapers EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Glory Holes EXP [ ] PREF [ ]
GENERAL ROLEPLAYING:
Dirty Talking EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Fear play EXP [ x ] PREF [ 3 ]
Fantasy abandonment EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Kidnapping EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Incest (over 18) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Interrogation EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Sleep deprivation EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Rape EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Gang bang EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Whore play EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Medical scenes EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Prison scenes EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Victorian Era EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Gorean EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Enslavement EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Schoolroom scenes EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Office scenes EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Wrestling EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Hypnotism EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Mind Control EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Furries EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Nekos EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Vampires/Undead EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 (Vampire) ]
Angels/Demons EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Goth EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Vaginal Virginity EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Oral Virginity EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Anal Virginity EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
SERVICE AND BEHAVIOUR:
Following orders EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Forced servitude EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Restrictive rules on behaviour EXP [ x ] PREF [ 32 ]
Sensory deprivation EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Kneeling EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Crawling EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Begging EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Standing in corner EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Learned postures EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Rituals EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Being given a new name EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Lectures for misbehaviour EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Discipline / Punishments EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Physical examinations EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Forced exercise EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Forced dressing EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Having clothing chosen for you EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Having food chosen for you EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Being fed EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Wearing symbolic jewellery EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Massage (giving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Massage (receiving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Licking (non-sexual) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Serving EXP [ x ] PREF [ 3 ]
Serving other dom/mes (supervised) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Serving other dom/mes (unsupervised) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Including others EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Competitions (with other Subs) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Harems (serving w/other subs) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Supplying new partners for Domme EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
VOYEURISM/EXHIBITIONISM:
Forced nudity (private) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Forced nudity (around others) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Exhibitionism (friends) EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Exhibitionism (strangers) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Modelling for erotic photos EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Voyeurism (watching others) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
BODILY FLUIDS AND FUNCTIONS:
Watersports/golden showers EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Swallowing urine EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Enemas EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Scat EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Blood EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Menstruation EXP [ x ] PREF [ 6 ]
Vomiting EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
1 = Highly arroused by this activity, or the thought of it.
2 = Arroused by this activity, or thought of it.
3 = Somewhat Neutral to this activity, or the thought of it.
4 = Turned off to this activity, or thought of it.
5 = Highly Turned off to this activity, or thought of it.
6 = Hard Limit; Currently will not try this activity
BONDAGE:
Blindfolds EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Bondage (light) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Bondage (heavy) EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Bondage (public) EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Japanese Rope Bondage (Shibari) EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Collars (collaring) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Collars (being collared) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Leashes (private) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Leashes (public) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Chains EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Ropes EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Cuffs EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Gags EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Full head hoods EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Mummification/saran wrapping EXP [ x ] PREF [ 3 ]
Straight jackets EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Spreader bars EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
CONFINEMENT/SUSPENSION:
Cages EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Cells/Closets EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Stocks EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Suspension EXP [ x ] PREF [ 3 ]
IMPACT/PERCUSSION:
Spanking EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Flogging EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Single-tail whips EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Canes EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Belts EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Leather straps EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Riding crops EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Hairbrushes EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Wooden paddles EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Breast slapping EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Breast whipping EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Pussy/cock whipping EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Punching EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Strapping (full body beating) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Hair pulling EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Face slapping EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
SEXUAL ACTIVITY:
Vaginal sex EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Oral sex Female(giving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Oral sex Male(giving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Oral sex (receiving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Oral after Anal EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Throat Penetration EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Swallowing semen EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Facials EXP [ x ] PREF [ 3 ]
Bukkake EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Snowballing EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Creampie Licking EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Hand jobs (giving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Fingering (giving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Fingering (receiving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Anal sex (giving) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Anal sex (receiving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 4 ]
Anal plugs (small) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Anal plugs (large) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Anal plug (public) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Anal beads EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Anal Gaping EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Vaginal dildo EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Vibrator on genitals EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Masturbation EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Tribadism EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Fisting (vaginal/giving) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Fisting (vaginal/receiving) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Fisting (anal/giving) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Fisting (anal/receiving) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Speculums (vaginal) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Speculums (anal) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Rimming (giving) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Rimming (receiving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 5 ]
Double penetration (oral and vaginal) EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Double penetration (oral and anal) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Double penetration (vaginal and anal) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Triple penetration EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Forced masturbation EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Titty Fucking (giving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 3 ]
Titty Fucking (receiving) EXP [ ] PREF [ ]
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Strap-on-dildos (wearing) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Group Sex EXP [ x ] PREF [ 5 ]
Outdoor sex EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Orgasm control EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Sexual deprivation (short term) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Sexual deprivation (long term) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Swapping (with one other couple) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Swinging (multiple couples) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Threesomes (two male, one female) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Threesomes (one male, two females) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Beastiality EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
SENSATION PLAY:
Scratching EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Being bitten EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Tickling EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Kissing EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Zapping EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Ice cubes EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Wax Play EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Clothespins EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Sensory deprivation EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Hot oils (on genitals) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Breath Play EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
HUMILIATION:
Teasing EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Humiliation (private) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Humiliation (public) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Verbal humiliation EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Being spit on EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Washing mouth out with soap EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Objectification (art, furniture...) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Shaving (body hair) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Shaving (head hair) EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Slutty clothing (private) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Slutty clothing (public) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Outdoor scenes EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Public exposure EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
BODY-PART TORTURE:
Breast/Nipple Torture EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Nipple clips EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Nipple weights EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Nipple suction cups EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Clit clips EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Branding EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Cutting EXP [ x ] PREF [ 4 ]
Catheterization EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Choking EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Smothering EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Disfigurement EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Snuff EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
FETISHES:
Feet EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Boots EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
High heels EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Chastity devices EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Corsets EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Masks EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Crossdressing EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Breast / Nipple Worship EXP [ ] PREF [ ] ?
Genital / Nipple Piercings EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Fingers in Mouth EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Hermaphrodite / Shemales EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Gender-bending EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Gas masks EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Feathers EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Lingerie EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Nylon EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Silks EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Leather clothing EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Rubber/latex/PVC clothing EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Panties EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Pantyhose EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Uniforms EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Pregnancy EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Lactation EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Food EXP [ x ] PREF [ 3 ]
Diapers EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Glory Holes EXP [ ] PREF [ ]
GENERAL ROLEPLAYING:
Dirty Talking EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Fear play EXP [ x ] PREF [ 3 ]
Fantasy abandonment EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Kidnapping EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Incest (over 18) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Interrogation EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Sleep deprivation EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Rape EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Gang bang EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Whore play EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Medical scenes EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Prison scenes EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Victorian Era EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Gorean EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Enslavement EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Schoolroom scenes EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Office scenes EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Wrestling EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Hypnotism EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Mind Control EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Furries EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Nekos EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Vampires/Undead EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 (Vampire) ]
Angels/Demons EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Goth EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Vaginal Virginity EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Oral Virginity EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Anal Virginity EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
SERVICE AND BEHAVIOUR:
Following orders EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Forced servitude EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Restrictive rules on behaviour EXP [ x ] PREF [ 32 ]
Sensory deprivation EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Kneeling EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Crawling EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Begging EXP [ ] PREF [ 2 ]
Standing in corner EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Learned postures EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Rituals EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Being given a new name EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Lectures for misbehaviour EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Discipline / Punishments EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Physical examinations EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Forced exercise EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Forced dressing EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Having clothing chosen for you EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Having food chosen for you EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Being fed EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Wearing symbolic jewellery EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Massage (giving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Massage (receiving) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Licking (non-sexual) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Serving EXP [ x ] PREF [ 3 ]
Serving other dom/mes (supervised) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Serving other dom/mes (unsupervised) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Including others EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Competitions (with other Subs) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Harems (serving w/other subs) EXP [ ] PREF [ 5 ]
Supplying new partners for Domme EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
VOYEURISM/EXHIBITIONISM:
Forced nudity (private) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 1 ]
Forced nudity (around others) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Exhibitionism (friends) EXP [ ] PREF [ 4 ]
Exhibitionism (strangers) EXP [ x ] PREF [ 2 ]
Modelling for erotic photos EXP [ ] PREF [ 1 ]
Voyeurism (watching others) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others) EXP [ ] PREF [ 3 ]
BODILY FLUIDS AND FUNCTIONS:
Watersports/golden showers EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Swallowing urine EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Enemas EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Scat EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Blood EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Menstruation EXP [ x ] PREF [ 6 ]
Vomiting EXP [ ] PREF [ 6 ]
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Playing Games
On Thursday, Master told me that he was going to start a Tumblr (in addition to this blog and the Pinterest we share) about our dark dreams and desires. I asked him if he would allow me to see it. He told me yes, but that I had to guess the password. The rules were as follows: He gave me one clue per day. I was allowed to guess once. If I failed, not only was I not allowed access to the site he had created, but I was not allowed to orgasm until the next day.
I guess incorrectly to my clue on Thursday.
On Friday, I also guessed wrong. On Friday, I also engaged in text-based RP with a friend, and the RP turned steamy. I was incredibly turned on and could do nothing about it.
Again on Saturday, I guessed wrong once again and promised Master that I would get it right on Sunday. I also continued my RP with the above mentioned person. At this point, I felt much akin to a tightly wound top; my sex was sopping and I wanted nothing more than to touch myself and make me cum.
Yesterday, Master and I had a few hours between our individual work shifts, so instead of napping like I should have, I stayed up to talk to him. We didn't do much gaming together the weekend before, like we usually do, so he suggested that we play League of Legends, with his own twist. Before the game started, he commanded that I push my glass dildo inside of me as far as it would go and keep it there. Every time that I died, I had to rub my clit until I respawned. For every death at the end of the game, I had to spend masturbating that night without touching my clit nor coming to an orgasm. However, for every kill I made, it negated one death. I writhed; I didn't think that I would be able to do it. I feared I would disappoint my Master and fail him.
I died four times and each time I rubbed my clit furiously, spreading my lips with my other hand. I knew that if he had allowed I would cum quickly. But he always sternly commanded me to stop the second that I respawned. At random times during the game, he also instructed me to roll my hips against the dildo until he said to stop. By the end of the game, I had achieved six kills, negating all of my deaths. I was also so incredibly dripping wet that my glass dildo wouldn't stay within me. He told me that since I had done such a good job in our game that he would allow me to fuck myself for five minutes. In and out, the toy slid effortlessly, drawing moans galore from me. I knew that if I could just keep going and gently apply pressure to my clit, I would explode. But alas, he made me stop when he left from work, leaving me whimpering for release.
Also, on Thursday night, he has started a new ritual for me to perform every night before I go to bed. I am to strip naked, put my collar on, and say aloud "I am Aurora and he loves me, come what may." I usually say it several times, like a chant, and kneel there, letting it all soak in. I am then to sleep with my collar either in my hand or wrapped around my wrist and always near my heart, as a symbol of his love for me. Last night, I found a new and exciting way to hold it, however. I slid it closed to the last notch and slipped both of my wrists through the loop, holding them loosely in place, and holding my arms against my chest. I'm sure that Master will approve of this.
I did, however, guess the password right today and he allowed me to look upon the inspiration, ideas, and art that he had collected. He will be letting me orgasm tonight as well when he calls me. I await the scene he paints for me...
I guess incorrectly to my clue on Thursday.
On Friday, I also guessed wrong. On Friday, I also engaged in text-based RP with a friend, and the RP turned steamy. I was incredibly turned on and could do nothing about it.
Again on Saturday, I guessed wrong once again and promised Master that I would get it right on Sunday. I also continued my RP with the above mentioned person. At this point, I felt much akin to a tightly wound top; my sex was sopping and I wanted nothing more than to touch myself and make me cum.
Yesterday, Master and I had a few hours between our individual work shifts, so instead of napping like I should have, I stayed up to talk to him. We didn't do much gaming together the weekend before, like we usually do, so he suggested that we play League of Legends, with his own twist. Before the game started, he commanded that I push my glass dildo inside of me as far as it would go and keep it there. Every time that I died, I had to rub my clit until I respawned. For every death at the end of the game, I had to spend masturbating that night without touching my clit nor coming to an orgasm. However, for every kill I made, it negated one death. I writhed; I didn't think that I would be able to do it. I feared I would disappoint my Master and fail him.
I died four times and each time I rubbed my clit furiously, spreading my lips with my other hand. I knew that if he had allowed I would cum quickly. But he always sternly commanded me to stop the second that I respawned. At random times during the game, he also instructed me to roll my hips against the dildo until he said to stop. By the end of the game, I had achieved six kills, negating all of my deaths. I was also so incredibly dripping wet that my glass dildo wouldn't stay within me. He told me that since I had done such a good job in our game that he would allow me to fuck myself for five minutes. In and out, the toy slid effortlessly, drawing moans galore from me. I knew that if I could just keep going and gently apply pressure to my clit, I would explode. But alas, he made me stop when he left from work, leaving me whimpering for release.
Also, on Thursday night, he has started a new ritual for me to perform every night before I go to bed. I am to strip naked, put my collar on, and say aloud "I am Aurora and he loves me, come what may." I usually say it several times, like a chant, and kneel there, letting it all soak in. I am then to sleep with my collar either in my hand or wrapped around my wrist and always near my heart, as a symbol of his love for me. Last night, I found a new and exciting way to hold it, however. I slid it closed to the last notch and slipped both of my wrists through the loop, holding them loosely in place, and holding my arms against my chest. I'm sure that Master will approve of this.
I did, however, guess the password right today and he allowed me to look upon the inspiration, ideas, and art that he had collected. He will be letting me orgasm tonight as well when he calls me. I await the scene he paints for me...
Thursday, July 11, 2013
July 10th - Part Two (Vocal Edition)
So last night after he got off work, Master called me. I was very tired and had planned on only talking for a few moments before going to sleep but he had other plans for me.
He engaged me by telling me some of the the things planned for me for when I come see him; the mere sound of his voice describing to me in detail the wicked things that he would do to me was enough to make me wet; had I been wearing panties at the time I'm sure they would have been soaked through.
He then commanded me to chose one of my toys and rub it along my lips for several moments before shoving it inside me in an instant. I cried out, suddenly being filled, and he told me to start slowly rubbing my clit. But he took it away before I had a chance to fully enjoy it. He commanded me to stop everything and remove my hands. After a few moments, he commanded that I turn my vibrator on and push it back within me, and to continue to rub my clit. I had so much tension built from him talking to me earlier about his plans for me, I knew I would climax within mere minutes. "Are you close, Aurora?" He asked me gently. I told him yes, that I was very close. "Stop!" He barked, and my hands immediately fell away to the sides, my toy vibrating against my thigh.
I lay there, panting and whimpering for sweet release. I didn't know if he would grant it to me after my infraction earlier that day. Would he punish me and send me to bed as such? He asked me if I thought he should let me continue. I told him I would understand if this was punishment for being overly eager earlier but that I very much wished to finish. I could hear him smile as he said I could keep going.
I picked up where I had left off just minutes before and while I knew that I was on the brink of release before, I felt like I was starting all over again. He told me to remove the vibrator from within me and place it on my clit, and to push two fingers inside of me. My folds were totally and utterly soaked at this point and I slid in as easy as my toy did. I began to pump my fingers in and out and passively hold the toy on my clit. He soon allowed me to use three fingers if I so pleased, so I did and cried out as I did so. There were a few times where it sounded like I would orgasm and Master would remind me, "Remember to ask first, little Aurora."
Finally, after nearly half an hour, I felt my climax building up. In between my pants and my moans, I quickly asked, or rather half-asked, because it was all I could manage to say. "Master, Master, I'm going... Please, can I?" I could hear him smile again, this time more widely than before, as he answered me. "Yes, Aurora, you may cum. Cum for me, my Aurora." And I did. I felt the orgasm pulse through me as blood surged through my body. It was as if I could hear and feel my heartbeat all over my body. It lasted longer than nearly any orgasm I've ever had and when I was through, I laid there, a sopping, panting, whimpering mess of a woman. "You did beautifully, Aurora. Absolutely wonderful." He praised me and I soared. "I did well?" I asked him softly. "Did I please you, Master?" He laughed a little. "Oh yes, my dear Aurora. You pleased me immensely."
---
We talked for the rest of the night, about my trip and work and movies and all that jazz. But for the rest of the night, I could feel myself tremble a little at the thought of our scene. That was really our first go at the game; I think that it went wonderfully. However, towards the end of our night together, I could feel the sub drop coming. Coming down from the high of playing is an undesirable thing. Until he's with me, I have to take care of it on my own, through the use of cuddling in my blankets, nibbling on chocolate, and talking to him.
He engaged me by telling me some of the the things planned for me for when I come see him; the mere sound of his voice describing to me in detail the wicked things that he would do to me was enough to make me wet; had I been wearing panties at the time I'm sure they would have been soaked through.
He then commanded me to chose one of my toys and rub it along my lips for several moments before shoving it inside me in an instant. I cried out, suddenly being filled, and he told me to start slowly rubbing my clit. But he took it away before I had a chance to fully enjoy it. He commanded me to stop everything and remove my hands. After a few moments, he commanded that I turn my vibrator on and push it back within me, and to continue to rub my clit. I had so much tension built from him talking to me earlier about his plans for me, I knew I would climax within mere minutes. "Are you close, Aurora?" He asked me gently. I told him yes, that I was very close. "Stop!" He barked, and my hands immediately fell away to the sides, my toy vibrating against my thigh.
I lay there, panting and whimpering for sweet release. I didn't know if he would grant it to me after my infraction earlier that day. Would he punish me and send me to bed as such? He asked me if I thought he should let me continue. I told him I would understand if this was punishment for being overly eager earlier but that I very much wished to finish. I could hear him smile as he said I could keep going.
I picked up where I had left off just minutes before and while I knew that I was on the brink of release before, I felt like I was starting all over again. He told me to remove the vibrator from within me and place it on my clit, and to push two fingers inside of me. My folds were totally and utterly soaked at this point and I slid in as easy as my toy did. I began to pump my fingers in and out and passively hold the toy on my clit. He soon allowed me to use three fingers if I so pleased, so I did and cried out as I did so. There were a few times where it sounded like I would orgasm and Master would remind me, "Remember to ask first, little Aurora."
Finally, after nearly half an hour, I felt my climax building up. In between my pants and my moans, I quickly asked, or rather half-asked, because it was all I could manage to say. "Master, Master, I'm going... Please, can I?" I could hear him smile again, this time more widely than before, as he answered me. "Yes, Aurora, you may cum. Cum for me, my Aurora." And I did. I felt the orgasm pulse through me as blood surged through my body. It was as if I could hear and feel my heartbeat all over my body. It lasted longer than nearly any orgasm I've ever had and when I was through, I laid there, a sopping, panting, whimpering mess of a woman. "You did beautifully, Aurora. Absolutely wonderful." He praised me and I soared. "I did well?" I asked him softly. "Did I please you, Master?" He laughed a little. "Oh yes, my dear Aurora. You pleased me immensely."
---
We talked for the rest of the night, about my trip and work and movies and all that jazz. But for the rest of the night, I could feel myself tremble a little at the thought of our scene. That was really our first go at the game; I think that it went wonderfully. However, towards the end of our night together, I could feel the sub drop coming. Coming down from the high of playing is an undesirable thing. Until he's with me, I have to take care of it on my own, through the use of cuddling in my blankets, nibbling on chocolate, and talking to him.
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