Monday, July 29, 2013

A Short Session

Master and I haven't been able to play recently. Between our work schedules and both of us doing overtime at various times (well, me all the time at least), my move last weekend and the wonkiness of our Sunday date last week, and other general things that have kept us, play has been a non-factor with us.  

However we actually had nearly a full day yesterday (twelve hours or so) to spend with each other and while play was not on the agenda, it was quickly pencilled in. We spent a couple hours browsing various sites with toys and devices for play, which of course got us both thinking about various things. 

Sometime after midnight when I was already tucked into bed, I asked him if he wanted to play since my roommate was shut away in his room for the night. He said no and we kept on our conversation. However, I was particularly motivated to get off as my session that morning, while I did get off, didn't last nearly as long as I wanted it to. So I was just going to take care of the issue myself while we talked. 

And then I made the mistake of muttering about needing batteries. 

Master was not happy. Not that I ran out of batteries, no. That I didn't ask for permission to play with myself. So he scolded me and told me that I wasn't allowed to cum until we played tonight. I whined and pouted but he wouldn't budge.

So while I was laying there talking to him and reading, my hand found its way under my tank top and started to play with my nipples, tracing circles, tweaking them, rolling between my fingers. This did nothing for my sexual frustrations. Master could hear me and asked me if I wanted to play even though I couldn't cum. I enthusiastically told him yes; some was better than none. 

He had me strip out of my clothes and put my collar on. He then told me to roll over onto my stomach and lift my ass in the air with my legs spread wide and my face buried in the pillows; Master knows this is my favourite position to be taken in. He told me to finger myself and I did and I could already feel that I was wet and I had barely even done anything. He told me to stop and get my glass toy (that's my favourite as well) and begin fucking myself with it. And I did. I fucked myself as hard as I could, pretending that it was Master behind me, impaling me with his shaft. 

And then he commanded that I stop immediately and I let the dildo slip out and whimpered. He let my excitement subside before telling me to rub the end of the dildo on my clit. I knew that this was bad, but if he made me do it for too long, I would cum, and then I would really be punished. Thankfully he told me to stop and lay onto my back with my legs spread wide and the toy buried deep within my cunt. "How are you feeling, Aurora?" He asked me. I shivered as he said my name and whimpered at the feel of the toy inside me. "Good, Master. I feel very good." "Do you want to keep going, even though you can't cum?" "Yes, Master, please let me keep going." He granted permission and I continued to fuck myself, not as hard as before, but still with much vigor. He instructed me to rub my clit as well and I knew that the combined feelings would push me right over the edge if I wasn't careful. 

"Stop!" He suddenly said and I pulled my hands away quickly, resting them on my stomach. "How are you feeling now, Aurora?" I whimpered because I didn't want to say. "I... I'm feeling very good, Master. But I want to cum." I knew that he knew that I wanted to cum and that I wasn't allowed. He said nothing for the span of several minutes, leaving me suspended there.

"You may cum, Aurora." I wasted no time getting back to what I was doing, slamming the dildo into me and rubbing my clit. "Thank you, Master, thank you." I breathed out, furiously trying to reach my orgasm. I could feel it building up, knew it was almost there. And then, it slammed into me. "Master, I'm cumming." I managed to whisper out. "Cum for me, my Aurora." He purred as I rode the wave of pleasure, trying to not shriek with delight. When I finally came down and had caught my breath, he, as always, instructed me to lick my toy clean, remove my collar and place it around my wrists, and go to sleep. 

We ended the night with a few simple words - "I love you, my Aurora. Always remember that you belong to me." "And I love you, Master, and I will always be yours."

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Communication

I ran across this very insightful Fetlife post on a "What my Dom should expect of me" yesterday and I feel like I took a lot away from it. I am unaware of the original author of this, but if you know, please tell me so I can give proper credit for it. 

Communicate
I want to know everything. More than you think, by far.
No, it's not whining. It's not private. Yes, it most certainly is my business, and you're damn well going to tell me. This isn't up for debate, it's how it is, and you'd better get used to it.
Trust is amazing, surrender is beautiful, but communication is just as paramount if this thing is going to work. I have to know everything. Not just who you are, which food you prefer and what your favorite band is. That's nice and all, but I need to know what drives you. What you fear, what you crave, what you can and can't handle. I need to know the you that no one else gets to see, and I need to see it not just once, but in every moment, as it changes. Yes, you're right, that sounds like a lot of work. Suck it up, cupcake, no one said this was going to be easy.
I'm not just talking about talking, either. I'm talking about what is almost certainly an entirely new set of skills. The ability to be truly, completely transparent and open, even when you're afraid you'll come off as selfish, rude, or otherwise. When I ask your opinion, I want the truth. Yes, I realize that you're trying to be all cute and submissive by telling me you don't care where we get dinner when I ask if you have a preference. Here's the rub; if I didn't want your opinion, I wouldn't have asked for it. I would have happily selected, and it never would have been a discussion. The very fact that I am asking you means I want the information that you can provide, that I don't already have by sheer observation.
All right, dinner's a ridiculous example, because at the end of the day Thai vs. Italian on some random ass Tuesday night is not what's going to make or break things. You know what will, though? You holding back while I'm pushing you. Not only is it not allowed, and that in and of itself will earn you some much deserved repercussions, but it's also downright dangerous. Holding back information when talking about the evening's culinary events won't send someone to the hospital, or jail, but doing so while my belt's around your throat most certainly could
Like I said, this isn't just about talking. You may not be in a place to spill your guts while enduring whatever mind-fuck I've dreamed up, or whichever whim is currently taking precedence at the moment, but you will learn to be honest, and open. You will cry when it hurts, you will tell me when something doesn't feel right, you will beg mercy when you can't take any more, you will ask if something should feel like x, or if you may change positions if your leg went to sleep or, whatever the case may be. No, that is not topping from the bottom, or being less than submissive, or questioning my authority. If you truly think I am weak and insecure enough to feel threatened by you telling me that something hurts, or that you can't feel your toes, we've got some serious talking to do, or some serious "get the fuck out"ing, one or the other.
Look, here's how this works - You give me every last shred of information you can muster, and I make decisions based on that. This concept is not difficult, but some seem to have a massive problem with it. To me, one of the many things you are is a data collection point. I'm sick and tired of submissives that seem to be under the impression that their input doesn't matter. That they are somehow being disobedient if they ever speak up and voice anything, god forbid an utterance of dissent. What you're feeling and thinking; whether that's physical situations, emotional impacts and swells, or damn near anything else, absolutely matter. They may not always change the course of things, or my decisions, but they matter.
Why do they matter? I want the information. I want to know that your feet went to sleep from kneeling like that for so long, or that you feel nauseous from being hung upside down or...you get the idea. I want to know because while I am pretty damn perceptive, I am not omniscient, and if you ignore those things and a problem arises because of them, not only does it ruin whatever we're currently engaged in, but it means someone made a mistake. It also means that someone is going to be in serious trouble for that mistake, and get their ass in a sling for it. Here's a hint: That someone? It's not me.
If I'm pushing you in any way you can be damn sure I'm as in touch and paying as close attention as I possibly can. That being said, I can't see when your circulation goes wonky, your panic begins to set in, or some massive emotional trauma starts bubbling up from who knows where. It is not a bad thing to communicate, to feed me as much information as you possibly can. It is a bad thing not to. Trust me, "Ow that hurts!" is not a safe word. Telling me I'm a fucking asshole will not hurt my feelings, and tears won't slow me down. You pouring out emotion, frustration, fear or anything else will not stop me in my tracks. It will only help me better guide us on the course I have in mind, fine tuning things where necessary to achieve the result I want, taking the new information into account. This is not to say I'm not watching, and if you didn't see the issue coming either then you're not exactly accountable, are you? But if you knowingly hold back for any reason, there's a problem.
Just as much as communicating when something is too much, communicating what you want, need and crave is important too. You aren't a pretty little princess. You aren't going to get everything you ask for, or want. You sure as shit aren't going to run the show. You don't have to worry about expressing desire because you are afraid you'll sound demanding, or you'll walk all over me. You won't. What you will do, however, is let me deeper into your psyche, into understanding what makes you tick. You'll let me into knowing how to reward you, or strike fear in your heart. Into how to use both the carrot and the stick, and that's a valuable thing.
It is not your job to filter. It's not acceptable to me for you to remove my choice in matters. If you don't tell me that plugs hurts like a son of a bitch already, and it's only 30 seconds into wearing it, you are removing my choice to alter the situation, and thereby arrive at a different and likely more desirable outcome than you screaming out eventually and me having to rip the damn thing out of you and stop what we're doing to make sure you're okay. Stop your damn martyring, it's not honorable, submissive or dutiful. It's selfish, even if you don't see it yet.
How in the hell am I supposed to drive if I don't have all the information? I can't make informed decisions if you're holding back, you can't let go completely and trust me if you haven't told me all there is to tell, and I can't act without doubt if I don't trust you to be absolutely honest to a fault, whether that is with your words, your reactions, or even your body's response. Communication is more important than most ever seem to understand, and in my world it is non optional.

I want it all, and I won't stop until I have it.

Friday, July 19, 2013

The Kink List

So many of you may be wondering, "Hrm, what exactly is she into?" Well wonder no further, dearest readers! I have been given a list by a fellow sub (and when he saw my results, he called me tame ._.). There is a great deal that I haven't tried but would be willing to try. I think an interesting idea would be to fill this list out again in a year and see how far I've come. 

        1  =  Highly arroused by this activity, or the thought of it.
        2  =  Arroused by this activity, or thought of it.
        3  =  Somewhat Neutral to this activity, or the thought of it.
        4  =  Turned off to this activity, or thought of it.
        5  =  Highly Turned off to this activity, or thought of it.
        6 =   Hard Limit; Currently will not try this activity


BONDAGE:

Blindfolds              EXP  [  x   ]          PREF  [  1   ]
Bondage (light)              EXP  [  x  ]          PREF  [  1   ]
Bondage (heavy)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   1   ]
Bondage (public)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  1    ]
Japanese Rope Bondage (Shibari)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  2    ]
Collars (collaring)              EXP  [     ]          PREF  [  5    ]
Collars (being collared)              EXP  [  x    ]          PREF  [ 1     ]
Leashes (private)              EXP  [  x    ]          PREF  [   1   ]
Leashes (public)              EXP  [    x  ]          PREF  [    1  ]
Chains              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [ 3    ]
Ropes              EXP  [ x   ]          PREF  [   2   ]
Cuffs              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [    1  ]
Gags              EXP  [     ]          PREF  [    1  ]
Full head hoods               EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   5   ]
Mummification/saran wrapping              EXP  [ x     ]          PREF  [ 3    ]
Straight jackets              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   4   ]
Spreader bars              EXP  [    ]          PREF  [  2  ]

CONFINEMENT/SUSPENSION:

Cages              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   3  ] 
Cells/Closets              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [  3    ]
Stocks              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [  3    ]
Suspension              EXP  [    x   ]          PREF  [   3  ] 

IMPACT/PERCUSSION:

Spanking              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [    1  ]  
Flogging              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   1   ]  
Single-tail whips              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   3   ]  
Canes              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  3  ]  
Belts              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  3    ]  
Leather straps              EXP  [     ]          PREF  [    3  ]  
Riding crops              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  1   ]  
Hairbrushes              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   3    ]  
Wooden paddles              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   3  ]  
Breast slapping              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [  3    ]  
Breast whipping              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   3  ]  
Pussy/cock whipping              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [    3  ]  
Punching              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  6    ] 
Strapping (full body beating)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  3    ]  
Hair pulling              EXP  [  x    ]          PREF  [   1   ]  
Face slapping              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  6   ]  

SEXUAL ACTIVITY:

Vaginal sex              EXP  [  x    ]          PREF  [  1    ]  
Oral sex Female(giving)              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [   1   ]  
Oral sex Male(giving)              EXP  [  x    ]          PREF  [  2    ]      
Oral sex (receiving)              EXP  [    x  ]          PREF  [   1   ]
Oral after Anal              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  3   ]
Throat Penetration              EXP  [  x    ]          PREF  [  2    ]
Swallowing semen              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [  1    ]
Facials              EXP  [   x  ]          PREF  [   3     ] 
Bukkake              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   6   ]
Snowballing              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   4   ]
Creampie Licking              EXP  [    x   ]          PREF  [   1   ] 
Hand jobs (giving)              EXP  [  x    ]          PREF  [  2    ]  
Fingering (giving)              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [   1   ]
Fingering (receiving)              EXP  [  x   ]          PREF  [  1    ]  
Anal sex (giving)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  6    ]
Anal sex (receiving)              EXP  [  x  ]          PREF  [  4   ]
Anal plugs (small)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  3   ]  
Anal plugs (large)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  6   ]  
Anal plug (public)              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [  5  ]
Anal beads              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   3   ] 
Anal Gaping              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   6   ]
Vaginal dildo              EXP  [ x    ]          PREF  [   1   ]  
Vibrator on genitals              EXP  [  x    ]          PREF  [  1    ]
Masturbation              EXP  [    x  ]          PREF  [  2   ]
Tribadism              EXP  [  x    ]          PREF  [   2   ]  
Fisting (vaginal/giving)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   6   ]  
Fisting (vaginal/receiving)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  6   ]
Fisting (anal/giving)              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [ 6     ]  
Fisting (anal/receiving)              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [    6   ]
Speculums (vaginal)              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [  6    ]  
Speculums (anal)              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [  6    ] 
Rimming (giving)              EXP  [     ]          PREF  [   6    ]  
Rimming (receiving)              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [   5   ]
Double penetration (oral and vaginal)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  2   ]  
Double penetration (oral and anal)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  5    ]  
Double penetration (vaginal and anal)              EXP  [   x    ]          PREF  [  2   ]  
Triple penetration              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  3   ]  
Forced masturbation               EXP  [  x     ]          PREF  [  2   ] 
Titty Fucking (giving)              EXP  [   x    ]          PREF  [   3   ]
Titty Fucking (receiving)              EXP  [     ]          PREF  [      ]
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)              EXP  [     ]          PREF  [   5   ]  
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  5    ]  
Strap-on-dildos (wearing)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   5   ]  
Group Sex              EXP  [  x   ]          PREF  [   5   ]  
Outdoor sex              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [  2    ] 
Orgasm control              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [  1    ]  
Sexual deprivation (short term)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  3   ]  
Sexual deprivation (long term)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  6   ]  
Swapping (with one other couple)              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   6   ]  
Swinging (multiple couples)              EXP  [     ]          PREF  [   6   ]  
Threesomes (two male, one female)               EXP  [     ]          PREF  [   6   ] 
Threesomes (one male, two females)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  5    ]  
Beastiality              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   6   ]

SENSATION PLAY:

Scratching              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [   1   ]  
Being bitten              EXP  [  x    ]          PREF  [   1   ]  
Tickling              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   3   ]  
Kissing              EXP  [    x  ]          PREF  [    1  ]  
Zapping              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   1   ] 
Ice cubes               EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [  1    ] 
Wax Play              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [  1    ]  
Clothespins              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  2    ]  
Sensory deprivation              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   1   ] 
Hot oils (on genitals)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  3    ]  
Breath Play              EXP  [  x   ]          PREF  [  2   ]

HUMILIATION:

Teasing              EXP  [   x    ]          PREF  [   2   ]  
Humiliation (private)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  6    ]  
Humiliation (public)              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [  6  ]    
Verbal humiliation              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   6   ]   
Being spit on              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   6   ]  
Washing mouth out with soap              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  6    ]  
Objectification (art, furniture...)              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [  3  ]  
Shaving (body hair)              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [   1  ]    
Shaving (head hair)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   6 ]  
Slutty clothing (private)              EXP  [  x    ]          PREF  [   2   ]  
Slutty clothing (public)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  3    ]   
Outdoor scenes              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  2    ]  
Public exposure              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  3    ]  

BODY-PART TORTURE:

Breast/Nipple Torture              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  2    ]  
Nipple clips              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   1   ]  
Nipple weights              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   3   ]  
Nipple suction cups              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   2  ]  
Clit clips              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   3   ]
Branding              EXP  [    ]          PREF  [   4   ]
Cutting              EXP  [  x   ]          PREF  [   4   ]
Catheterization              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   6   ]
Choking              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [  1    ]
Smothering              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  6   ]
Disfigurement              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  6    ]  
Snuff              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  6    ]  

FETISHES:

Feet              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   5   ]  
Boots              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [   2   ]  
High heels              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   3   ]  
Chastity devices              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   5   ]  
Corsets              EXP  [     ]          PREF  [   1   ]   
Masks              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [ 3    ]  
Crossdressing              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   5   ]
Breast / Nipple Worship              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [      ] ?
Genital / Nipple Piercings              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [  5    ]
Fingers in Mouth              EXP  [ x     ]          PREF  [  1    ]
Hermaphrodite / Shemales              EXP  [     ]          PREF  [   6  ]  
Gender-bending              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [  5   ]   
Gas masks              EXP  [     ]          PREF  [  5   ]    
Feathers              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   1  ]  
Lingerie              EXP  [   x    ]          PREF  [  1    ]  
Nylon              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [  3    ]  
Silks              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [  2    ]  
Leather clothing              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  2    ]  
Rubber/latex/PVC clothing              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   3   ]  
Panties              EXP  [   x  ]          PREF  [   1   ]  
Pantyhose              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  3   ]  
Uniforms              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  3    ]  
Pregnancy               EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   3   ] 
Lactation              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [  4   ] 
Food              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [   3    ] 
Diapers              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   6 ]
Glory Holes              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [      ] 

GENERAL ROLEPLAYING:

Dirty Talking              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [   1   ]
Fear play              EXP  [  x     ]          PREF  [ 3    ]  
Fantasy abandonment              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  6    ]  
Kidnapping              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   1   ]
Incest (over 18)              EXP  [     ]          PREF  [  5   ] 
Interrogation              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  3    ] 
Sleep deprivation               EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   6   ] 
Rape               EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   3   ] 
Gang bang               EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   5   ] 
Whore play               EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  3    ] 
Medical scenes               EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   4   ]
Prison scenes              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   5   ] 
Victorian Era              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  3   ]
Gorean              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   6   ] 
Enslavement              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   2   ]
Schoolroom scenes              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [  2   ]
Office scenes               EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   1   ]
Wrestling              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  4    ]  
Hypnotism              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   3   ]  
Mind Control              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   4   ]  
Furries              EXP  [     ]          PREF  [    6  ]
Nekos              EXP  [     ]          PREF  [   3   ]
Vampires/Undead              EXP  [  x   ]          PREF  [   1 (Vampire)   ]
Angels/Demons              EXP  [     ]          PREF  [  2   ]
Goth              EXP  [     ]          PREF  [   2   ]
Vaginal Virginity              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [  3    ]
Oral Virginity              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   3   ]
Anal Virginity              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [  4    ]


SERVICE AND BEHAVIOUR:

Following orders              EXP  [  x    ]          PREF  [  1    ]  
Forced servitude              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   2   ]  
Restrictive rules on behaviour              EXP  [  x    ]          PREF  [   32  ]  
Sensory deprivation              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [   1   ]
Kneeling              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [   1   ]  
Crawling              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [  1    ]  
Begging               EXP  [       ]          PREF  [  2    ] 
Standing in corner                EXP  [       ]          PREF  [    4  ]
Learned postures              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [  4    ] 
Rituals              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [   1   ] 
Being given a new name              EXP  [   x    ]          PREF  [   1  ]  
Lectures for misbehaviour              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   4   ]
Discipline / Punishments              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [    3  ]  
Physical examinations              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   3   ] 
Forced exercise               EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   5   ] 
Forced dressing               EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  3   ] 
Having clothing chosen for you              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [ 3   ]  
Having food chosen for you              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   3   ]  
Being fed               EXP  [     ]          PREF  [   4   ] 
Wearing symbolic jewellery              EXP  [  x    ]          PREF  [   1   ]  
Massage (giving)              EXP  [    x  ]          PREF  [   2   ]  
Massage (receiving)               EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [   2   ] 
Licking (non-sexual)              EXP  [  x    ]          PREF  [   1   ]  
Serving               EXP  [    x    ]          PREF  [  3    ]
Serving other dom/mes (supervised)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   3   ]  
Serving other dom/mes (unsupervised)              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   3   ]
Including others              EXP  [     ]          PREF  [   6   ]  
Competitions (with other Subs)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   5   ]  
Harems (serving w/other subs)              EXP  [       ]          PREF  [   5   ]  
Supplying new partners for Domme              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [ 6    ] 


VOYEURISM/EXHIBITIONISM:

Forced nudity (private)              EXP  [  x    ]          PREF  [  1    ]  
Forced nudity (around others)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   3   ]  
Exhibitionism (friends)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   4   ]  
Exhibitionism (strangers)              EXP  [   x   ]          PREF  [  2   ]  
Modelling for erotic photos              EXP  [     ]          PREF  [   1   ]  
Voyeurism (watching others)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   3   ]  
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others)              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  3    ]  

BODILY FLUIDS AND FUNCTIONS:

Watersports/golden showers              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  6  ]  
Swallowing urine              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   6   ]  
Enemas              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   6   ]  
Scat              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [   6   ]  
Blood               EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  6    ] 
Menstruation               EXP  [   x    ]          PREF  [  6    ]

Vomiting              EXP  [      ]          PREF  [  6    ]

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Playing Games

On Thursday, Master told me that he was going to start a Tumblr (in addition to this blog and the Pinterest we share) about our dark dreams and desires. I asked him if he would allow me to see it. He told me yes, but that I had to guess the password. The rules were as follows: He gave me one clue per day. I was allowed to guess once. If I failed, not only was I not allowed access to the site he had created, but I was not allowed to orgasm until the next day. 
I guess incorrectly to my clue on Thursday. 
On Friday, I also guessed wrong. On Friday, I also engaged in text-based RP with a friend, and the RP turned steamy. I was incredibly turned on and could do nothing about it. 
Again on Saturday, I guessed wrong once again and promised Master that I would get it right on Sunday. I also continued my RP with the above mentioned person. At this point, I felt much akin to a tightly wound top; my sex was sopping and I wanted nothing more than to touch myself and make me cum.  

Yesterday, Master and I had a few hours between our individual work shifts, so instead of napping like I should have, I stayed up to talk to him. We didn't do much gaming together the weekend before, like we usually do, so he suggested that we play League of Legends, with his own twist. Before the game started, he commanded that I push my glass dildo inside of me as far as it would go and keep it there. Every time that I died, I had to rub my clit until I respawned. For every death at the end of the game, I had to spend masturbating that night without touching my clit nor coming to an orgasm. However, for every kill I made, it negated one death. I writhed; I didn't think that I would be able to do it. I feared I would disappoint my Master and fail him. 

I died four times and each time I rubbed my clit furiously, spreading my lips with my other hand. I knew that if he had allowed I would cum quickly. But he always sternly commanded me to stop the second that I respawned. At random times during the game, he also instructed me to roll my hips against the dildo until he said to stop. By the end of the game, I had achieved six kills, negating all of my deaths. I was also so incredibly dripping wet that my glass dildo wouldn't stay within me. He told me that since I had done such a good job in our game that he would allow me to fuck myself for five minutes. In and out, the toy slid effortlessly, drawing moans galore from me. I knew that if I could just keep going and gently apply pressure to my clit, I would explode. But alas, he made me stop when he left from work, leaving me whimpering for release. 

Also, on Thursday night, he has started a new ritual for me to perform every night before I go to bed. I am to strip naked, put my collar on, and say aloud "I am Aurora and he loves me, come what may." I usually say it several times, like a chant, and kneel there, letting it all soak in. I am then to sleep with my collar either in my hand or wrapped around my wrist and always near my heart, as a symbol of his love for me. Last night, I found a new and exciting way to hold it, however. I slid it closed to the last notch and slipped both of my wrists through the loop, holding them loosely in place, and holding my arms against my chest. I'm sure that Master will approve of this.

I did, however, guess the password right today and he allowed me to look upon the inspiration, ideas, and art that he had collected. He will be letting me orgasm tonight as well when he calls me. I await the scene he paints for me...

Thursday, July 11, 2013

July 10th - Part Two (Vocal Edition)

So last night after he got off work, Master called me. I was very tired and had planned on only talking for a few moments before going to sleep but he had other plans for me. 

He engaged me by telling me some of the the things planned for me for when I come see him; the mere sound of his voice describing to me in detail the wicked things that he would do to me was enough to make me wet; had I been wearing panties at the time I'm sure they would have been soaked through. 

He then commanded me to chose one of my toys and rub it along my lips for several moments before shoving it inside me in an instant. I cried out, suddenly being filled, and he told me to start slowly rubbing my clit. But he took it away before I had a chance to fully enjoy it. He commanded me to stop everything and remove my hands. After a few moments, he commanded that I turn my vibrator on and push it back within me, and to continue to rub my clit. I had so much tension built from him talking to me earlier about his plans for me, I knew I would climax within mere minutes. "Are  you close, Aurora?" He asked me gently. I told him yes, that I was very close. "Stop!" He barked, and my hands immediately fell away to the sides, my toy vibrating against my thigh. 

I lay there, panting and whimpering for sweet release. I didn't know if he would grant it to me after my infraction earlier that day. Would he punish me and send me to bed as such? He asked me if I thought he should let me continue. I told him I would understand if this was punishment for being overly eager earlier but that I very much wished to finish. I could hear him smile as he said I could keep going. 

I picked up where I had left off just minutes before and while I knew that I was on the brink of release before, I felt like I was starting all over again. He told me to remove the vibrator from within me and place it on my clit, and to push two fingers inside of me. My folds were totally and utterly soaked at this point and I slid in as easy as my toy did. I began to pump my fingers in and out and passively hold the toy on my clit. He soon allowed me to use three fingers if I so pleased, so I did and cried out as I did so. There were a few times where it sounded like I would orgasm and Master would remind me, "Remember to ask first, little Aurora."

Finally, after nearly half an hour, I felt my climax building up. In between my pants and my moans, I quickly asked, or rather half-asked, because it was all I could manage to say. "Master, Master, I'm going... Please, can I?" I could hear him smile again, this time more widely than before, as he answered me. "Yes, Aurora, you may cum. Cum for me, my Aurora." And I did. I felt the orgasm pulse through me as blood surged through my body. It was as if I could hear and feel my heartbeat all over my body. It lasted longer than nearly any orgasm I've ever had and when I was through, I laid there, a sopping, panting, whimpering mess of a woman. "You did beautifully, Aurora. Absolutely wonderful." He praised me and I soared. "I did well?" I asked him softly. "Did I please you, Master?" He laughed a little. "Oh yes, my dear Aurora. You pleased me immensely." 

---

We talked for the rest of the night, about my trip and work and movies and all that jazz. But for the rest of the night, I could feel myself tremble a little at the thought of our scene. That was really our first go at the game; I think that it went wonderfully. However, towards the end of our night together, I could feel the sub drop coming. Coming down from the high of playing is an undesirable thing. Until he's with me, I have to take care of it on my own, through the use of cuddling in my blankets, nibbling on chocolate, and talking to him. 

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

July 10th - A Test Run

Our first delving into our roles as top and bottom. Albeit long distance it was still one of the most fantastic, erotic things either of us have ever experienced. And if it was this good over text, I can only boggle to think of how good it will be in person. 
[Key: He is blue, I am white.]


I'd say we can play beforehand but... I'm just planning on teasing and talking to you 'till you go for it yourself.  
Ooooh, believe me... I may have to, uh, relieve some tension after work. Mayhaps sooner, if it gets unbearable.
Mmm...
Maybe... even... No, I couldn't do that.
You couldn't do what?
I could maybe be a little risky
And do what, Aurora?
And not wait until a break or after work.
Oh I think I know what I would suggest.
And what would you suggest for me to do, Master?
Mmmm...that certainly depends. When is your next break, Aurora?
One hour
Mmmm... I think, Aurora. That during your last call of the hour, five minutes before your break. You should slip one hand into your panties. And you should bury two fingers in yourself. Moving them just a little, until your break. And, on your break, you can bring yourself to orgasm.
As you wish. -whimpers-
Yes? Oh, and one more thing. When you're done. I think you should tell me about it, Aurora.
Also, should you want me only using my hands, or shall I employ the use of a toy to help me?
Mmm...I only know the one toy of yours, and I think that I do want to save the...ehm...commands, to molest yourself with a toy for our drive.
Mrr... As you wish.
Hmmmm?
It's killing me, waiting. I can feel how wet I am and to know that I can do nothing about it for another 30 minutes is just...

Is just what, Aurora?
It's so frustrating. I just want to reach down right now and shove my fingers inside me and stroke my clit until I climax and feel my nectar all over my fingers. But my Master has forbade me from doing such a thing right now, so I must sit here and wait for that time.
Mmm, you are absolutely allowed to disobey me, Aurora. It's not like I can enforce my commands while we're this far from each other...but once you get here, any command you haven't followed will certainly earn you a spanking, if not a flogging!
Oh but certainly I could never dream of disobeying my Master. I can't imagine the punishments that he would have in store for me if I did. Oh! But I'm so wet and just aching to be filled...
Oh poor little Aurora, are you trembling by now? Hurting for release? Hmmmm?
I am. I'm quivering and my panties are soaked all proper. I need it...
What is it you need, sweetheart?
Release... I need to climax. I need to feel my fingers slide into and stroke my walls while my thumb rubs my clit in circles until I cry out and shake.
And when you are trembling, your body shuddering with your orgasm, what are you going to cry out? Hmmm?
For you, of course. I will cry out for you and while my body will know that it is me that brought myself to an orgasm, my mind will be wishing that it was you.
How long until your break, Aurora?
Six minutes
I do believe... That it is time for you to sink two of your fingers into your sopping sex. I want you to devote the entirety of your attention now to thinking about what you are doing, your fingers in your sex, while you're still working, and I want you to focus on keeping a straight face while you're doing one of the most erotic things...until the end of your call. Then, I want you to make yourself tremble, and buck, and moan, and shudder.
Yes, Master...

-20 Minutes Later...-

I fear... I may have been bad. I pushed myself to orgasm twice.
Naughty, naughty girl. Five lashes with the flogger.
But!
I said you could get yourself off. Not twice.
I've been terribly bad, haven't I, Master?
You have, Aurora. But I'll rectify that well enough once you get here.
I didn't mean to, I swear. It just felt so good and I couldn't stop.
And why did it feel so good, Aurora?
Because. I imagined you pulling those cries from my lips, making my legs tremble and shake. Because when I finally slipped my fingers to my lips I could feel my wetness before I even parted them and knew that you had got me so aroused without even touching me.
Now tell me, Aurora, why you didn't stop when I told you to, hmm?
Because... I didn't want to.
Becaaaause?
Because you weren't here to stop me and I didn't think that one more orgasm would hurt.
Oh it won't hurt now, Aurora, but it will be such a delightful pain for you later...
As you say. I will make sure it doesn't happen again.